Feedback from a KISS member - contributed June 2007
Dear Kissers

I want to thank everybody involved in putting together the 8th Kiss birthday celebration, the organisers, performers and all that attended, for creating such a magical evening. I had such a fantastic time. It was heart warming to see the old and new faces all mixed up, and to feel the love in that room.

I've been coming to Kiss for a few years now, and have developed some very special friendships which originated there. I think we've got a really special space to come meet other girls that we can identify with, most of whom we'd probably never come across otherwise.

PURE MAGIC!

Kiss group zinda baad!!

xx

Feedback from a KISS member - contributed June 2004
It took me six months to join the Kiss group. I knew about it, and Elaine at the Glass Bar kept telling me it's a great group and I should get myself over there, but still I was very reluctant.

I can't tell you exactly why I felt that way, I think it was a mixture of things. I felt shy about approaching a well established group of individuals, I didn't know what to expect, I lacked the confidence to make myself known to strangers. Would I be accepted? What were these people like? What did they talk about? Would I be too embarrassed to contribute meaningfully to any discussions? Did I even need to be part of a group? Question, questions, questions!

But when I did finally make the step, it was amazing to see so many lesbian/bisexual Asian women in one room! Wow, where did all these lovely ladies come from? It was the most uplifting and positive experience.

Although it took me another six months to say anything in the discussions (I know anyone who knows me finds this difficult to believe because you can't shut me up now!) I do feel totally at ease in the group and, genuinely, it is one of the best things I have in my life.

The support is really unique because it extends way past the monthly meetings and the friendships I have developed with individuals in the group are very dear to me. I have no doubt that if ever I needed to talk to one of these individuals I could do so without hesitation and I would be listened to with love, tolerance, compassion and understanding.

Sure I was nervous and apprehensive about joining, but I realised in hindsight, that everyone in that room had done exactly what I had to do. They too had had to make that move, and go to their first meeting, and had stood exactly where I had stood.

Was it worth it? Yes, a million times over.

Feedback from a KISS member - contributed May 2004
The KISS group has been going strong since 1999. I remember attending the first meeting. I’d never knowingly met a South Asian lesbian before so I was nervous, curious and excited when I arrived at the Glass Bar. I sat down and my habit of South Asian Dyke Spotting began instantly, and before I knew it this gooorgeous South Asian woman walked in. She had short hair, wore blue jeans and dark boots, a black T shirt and a black leather jacket. I watched her as she bought a bottled beer from the bar and then glanced around the room in search of the KISS group. She looked so amazing and cool, my eyes were hooked on her. But I wasn’t filled with admiration or desire. In fact, I was rather confused. I thought to myself ‘Who does she think she is? Me?’ I didn’t speak to her and to this day I have no idea who she was. But more importantly, it was at that moment that I realised I wasn’t the only one (South Asian lesbian that is). Hoorar!!!

The first time I thought I had come out to anyone other than to myself was in 1987. I was at school standing in a corridor waiting to join a new class. Everyone else was still at lunch except for a Turkish girl who was also waiting. She told me her name, I told her mine. Then she took me by surprise by asking me ‘Who do you fancy?’ I was so caught off guard with no time to think. ‘Ms so-and-so’ I replied. ‘Ms so-and-so?’ she asked in disbelief. Then I panicked. ‘Oh my God’, I thought, ‘I’m in trouble now.’ But no, the girl thought it was hilarious. She fell about laughing. Then I fell about laughing. We came up with the nickname 'Cucumber' for Ms so-and-so so we could talk about her in class in secret. We were in fits of giggles like a right pair of teenagers. The girl instantly became my best best friend for several years (and was totally straight, nothing went on between us, honest!).

But throughout those years there always seemed to be something missing. When KISS co-founders Neeraj and Parminder welcomed me to my first KISS meeting and introduced me to other South Asian lesbian and bisexual women (who all looked beautiful in different ways), that was when I really came out – and after 12 years I had found that missing something. So thank you KISS.


Feedback from the Kiss residential September 2002
Feedback from Parminder about the residential:
Well I don't mind saying, for a period of time the KISS residential project was like a growing thorn in my side, I couldn't think why on earth I'd fanned the flames of Dip[ti's enthusiasm when she first suggested it, when I knew full well it was gonna be loads of work. Anyway I am pleased to say it was worth every last bit of nervous tension that I expended. It was such a special performance, real old school philosophy of eating playing, cooking, working together. Going back to basics, engaging in some real tlc. The surroundings were lush and the food shopping and facilitation inspired. A big thanks to Dipti and Roiya who raised cash together with a donation from Naz - it made the whole weekend possible. And most of all thanks to all 13 women who came and made it great and a weekend to cherish. I could say more but that would be plain bragging. Perhaps if we could raise the money again we could have another residential next year. Kiss women deserve it, so let's try and make it happen.
Love Px

And more feedback from one of the women who came:
I'd just like to praise the organisers of the Kiss residential that we had last month. For a really cheap ticket we got pampered in a beautiful cottage with all the perks, and the workshops were really enjoyable and rewarding. i came back feeling de-stressed and snuggly ready for another week of crap! I look forward to the next Kiss holiday in sunny Sitges, Spain next September.

Contact us if you would like to add a contribution to this page.

More Kiss members' accounts of their experiences of the group can be read in the booklet 'Kiss and Tell'.